


it wasn't supposed to be this way

by HodnesLaikKwelnes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-26 11:11:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19766995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HodnesLaikKwelnes/pseuds/HodnesLaikKwelnes
Summary: “Kara Danvers?” Someone asked from the blonde’s left, approaching them with a tentative smile and a huge bouquet of flowers.“That’s me.” Kara replied softly, handing Alex her phone back as she approached the young man.“Congratulations.” He said simply, handing over the bouquet of yellow carnations before walking away.There was no card, but Kara knew instantly who they were from.or,Kara receives her Pulitzer, Lena isn't in attendance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written angst in my entire life, mostly because it makes me sad, but I was already sad this week so I figured I'd do something productive lol  
> I honesty don't know if this is good but I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or bad!  
> Thanks for reading folks!

The Pulitzer luncheon was exactly what Kara had envisioned, with a few exceptions.

The food _was_ good, but the portions were tiny, which she had come to expect when attending fancy events – good thing her and Alex had went out for Chinese beforehand.

The entertainment was a surprise, however. Getting a Pulitzer is _a big deal_ (and a few weeks ago she would have lost her mind at the fact that she was sitting in this very room awaiting her name to be called), so Kara thought that it would be more boring talk and speeches and less… singing. 

Yes, the performances were definitely a surprise, but it made for a good distraction. A distraction from her thoughts on the absence of a certain brunette.

The luncheon in itself was a formality; a mandatory one since she had won, but a formality nonetheless. The winners had been announced a month prior and Kara had already celebrated with everyone that mattered. Except for Lena.

Perhaps foolishly, she had hoped that things would have been better between them today; she _had_ sent her an invitation as soon as she had been able, but hadn’t heard back.

“Excited?” Alex asked from Kara’s left, a big, proud smile on her lips.

“Yeah.” Was the quiet answer the blonde gave back, all the while biting her lip nervously as she scanned the portion of the crowd she could see from her seat, trying not to be obvious.

“Nervous?” The redhead asked knowingly, leaning closer to her sister so that only she could hear.

Alex’s least favorite part about the luncheon? Having to sit with a bunch of strangers that eyed her suit and haircut with barely hidden disdain.

“Not really.” The blonde shook her head, finally turning to meet her sister’s eyes. “I just wish she was here.”

“I know.” Alex replied sadly. “I tried to see go see her but-“

“But she refused to see you; yeah, I know.” The blonde finished with a sigh. “I tried too.”

“I know you blame yourself, but Kara it’s not-“ The redhead started, but was quickly interrupted.

“Of course it’s my fault Alex.” The blond talked back softly, mindful of their surroundings. “I lied to her, for _years_. I lost her, but she- she lost _everyone_. And I’ll never forgive myself for that.” Kara replied in a brittle voice.

“Kara…” Alex whispered, but before she could think of something to say to try and comfort her sister, the blonde’s attention switched to the stage.

“And for her article entitled “How Lex Luthor Divided and Betrayed America” this year’s prize in Investigative Reporting goes to Kara Danvers, from CatCo Worldwide Media!” The announcer proclaimed loudly over the deafening sound of the audience clapping.

Kara stood slowly, shakily, before turning to give her sister a hug.

“Congrats, Kara. You deserve this.” The redhead whispered as she squeezed the blonde tightly, before pushing her softly in the direction of the stage.

Kara couldn’t help but wish that someone else was whispering those words to her.

* * *

“I still can’t believe you won a Pulitzer.” Alex said later on, as people were starting to leave, hugging Kara for the nth time that night. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks Alex.” Kara smiled softly; glad to have her sister by her side.

“Mom has been yelling at me through text all night, she’s proud too, by the way.” The redhead laughed, handing the blonde the phone so that she could read through the slew of texts.

“Kara Danvers?” Someone asked from the blonde’s left, approaching them with a tentative smile and a huge bouquet of flowers.

“That’s me.” Kara replied softly, handing Alex her phone back as she approached the young man.

“Congratulations.” He said simply, handing over the bouquet of yellow carnations before walking away.

There was no card, but Kara knew instantly who they were from.

“That’s pretty.” Alex commented with a smile as she joined her sister, watching the young man leave with a barely there frown. “Who’s it from?”

“Lena.” The blonde answered pass the lump in her throat.

“I told you she just needed some time!” Alex exclaimed happily, beaming before she finally noticed the lone tear sliding down her sister’s cheek. “Whoa, hey, what’s up?” The redhead panicked. “Flowers are a good thing, right?”

“Not these ones.” Kara shook her head, before taking a deep breath, and letting a second tear join the first one as she slowly made for the exit, not bothering to wipe them away.

* * *

“Kara, I really don’t think Lena meant anything by it. They’re just pretty flowers.” Alex tried to convince her sister once again, but to no avail.

“You don’t know her like I do.” Kara shook her head, staring at her lap, promptly ignoring the flowers she had put in a vase and placed on her coffee table once they had made it back to her apartment.

“There was no card for a reason Alex; she knew I’d know it was her.”

“Because of what they mean?” Alex double-checked, and at Kara’s nod, she scoffed. “ _’Disappointment, disdain’_? That’s a little harsh, even for a Luthor.” Alex said, joining her sister on the couch after grabbing her second beer of the evening.

“Don’t talk about her like that please, you know she’s good.” Kara tiredly asked without looking up.

“She just sent you _disappointment flowers_. On the day you received your Pulitzer.” Alex pointed out.

“She had every right.” Kara shrugged back.

“No, Kara, she didn’t!” Alex blew up. “Look, I know she’s your best friend, and that she’s mad because you lied, but she doesn’t get to ruin a perfectly good day for you because she’s petty! What’s next, a dead bird on your wedding day?”

“But I’m not having a good day! I haven’t had a good day since we fought!” Kara yelled.

Alex stared at her sister in shock, watching as the blonde took fast, deep breaths before finally breaking down.

“It’s been 3 months.” Alex whispered, wrapping a comforting arm around her crying sister.

“I know.” Kara croaked out. “I miss her.”

“Maybe try to reach out again? Send her your own flowers?” Alex suggested.

“I tried that, last month. It was her birthday.” Kara replied, sniffing and wiping at her eyes.

“And what happened?” Alex asked quietly.

“Nothing.” Kara replied as more tears made their way down her cheeks. The florist had assured her that the flowers had been delivered, but Kara hadn’t heard back then either. Until now. “This kind of feels like the end, doesn’t it?” She asked shakily after a few seconds, turning to look at Alex.

“It’s never the end of something, unless you stop trying.” Alex tried to reassure her, wrapping her arms more tightly around her sister. “She loved you, I think there’s a good chance she still does.”

“Do you really think that?”

“I do.” The redhead promised. “And I think that you two should talk again. Without yelling this time.”

“There was no yelling.” Kara defended, a crinkle appearing between her brows. “She just… talked loudly.”

“Right.” Alex replied, amused. “Well, no _talking loudly_ then.”

“But she won’t see me, or answer my texts, _or calls_ ; and I’m pretty sure she moved because every time I fly by, it’s empty.”

“Kara, you’re Supergirl.” Alex pointed out softly. “Just… land on her balcony or something.”

“I can’t force myself on her like that.” Kara shook her head. “I have to do it the… _human_ way. Plus I don’t think she’s very fond of Supergirl right now.”

“Right.” Alex agreed. “Well, go to L-Corp and wait until she agrees to see you; she can’t avoid you forever.” She shrugged.

“I have a feeling that she could if she really wanted to.” The blonde laughed brokenly.

“That’s… yeah, probably. But I don’t think she will.” Alex reassured her sister, kissing the top of her head softly. “We’ll handle things at the DEO for as long as you need.”

“Okay.” Kara nodded slowly, finally coming to terms with the fact that she was going to see Lena again. Probably.

* * *

“I’m sorry Miss Danvers, but Miss Luthor is busy.” Jess told Kara the next day, not even bothering to look up from her computer screen.

“Jess, please, I need to talk to her.” The blonde pleaded, eyeing the closed door of Lena’s office and wondering if the brunette was inside.

“And I need you to stop showing up here unannounced.” The assistant replied in a flat voice.

“I messed up and I need to fix it.” Kara pleaded again. “ _Please_.”

Letting out a big sigh, Jess finally stopped typing and looked up at the blonde with an annoyed expression.

“Miss Luthor does _not_ want to see you, alright? I am, under no circumstance, allowed to let you through.” She enunciated carefully, breaking Kara’s heart in the process.

“She hates me that much?” She painfully asked, looking down at her feet.

“Yes.” Jess answered without any qualms, returning to her screen, picking up the phone barely a second after it’d started ringing. “Lena Luthor’s office...”

Kara tuned out whatever Jess was saying to her interlocutor and took a seat on one of the chairs lining the wall outside of Lena’s office.

On the one hand, she wanted to leave. Lena clearly didn’t want to see her, had made it _pretty_ clear, and if what Jess was saying was true, she wouldn’t be changing her mind anytime soon.

But on the other hand, maybe what Lena needed was to see how determined Kara was to make amends? Maybe that if she saw how badly Kara felt about the whole situation, and how badly she missed her, maybe she’d hear her out?

The blonde barely had any hope, but she had enough to sit here and _wait_.

And so she waited. For hours.

She saw people come and go out of Lena’s office but never saw the brunette, she’d heard her at one point _,_ greeting an old dude in a suit with an audible smile, making Kara long for the voice to be directed at her once again.

She was starving and badly needed to use the bathroom but didn’t dare move, because she had a feeling that she’d miss the CEO if she did.

At 8pm on the dot, Jess started packing up her things, eyeing Kara distrustfully, but staying quiet. After taking unnecessary time to double-check everything on her desk, Jess finally spoke.

“She’s not going to go home anytime soon.”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait.” Kara smiled lightly, finding herself intimidated by the small brunette for the first time in her life.

“Security will be up in a minute to watch the door.” Jess announced as she stood up, knocking on Lena’s door and popping her head in to let her know she was heading home for the night, before walking towards the elevator but stopping in front of the blonde and giving her an intense look. “That’s 60 seconds.”

“Yeah I- Oh! _Oh._ ” Kara stammered, realizing what the brunette had meant once she was already in the elevator, rolling her eyes at the blonde. “Thank you, Jess!” Kara said, quickly standing up and making for Lena’s door.

Except that once she was in front of it, she couldn’t make herself knock.

If Lena _really_ hated her, would barging in on her be a good idea? Would she even answer the knock? Would she just call security to escort Kara out of the building and probably ban her from it?

With seconds quickly ticking by, Kara picked up on the sound of the security guard boarding the elevator on the ground floor, clearly on his way up to her.

Biting her lip to the point where it turned painful, Kara took a deep breath a pushed the door open, quickly closing it behind herself and leaning against it, eyes shut tight, question her decision immediately.

“Well, I wish I could say this was a surprise.” Came Lena’s unamused voice, and slowly, Kara opened her eyes to look at her best friend on the other side of the room, leaning against her desk with her arms crossed.

“Lena I-“

“Get out.” The brunette ordered.

“Lena _please_!” Kara begged, taking a few steps closer unconsciously. “I miss you _so much_.” She admitted through a sob.

“I miss my best friend too.” Lena laughed harshly. “Turns out she was never real.”

“But I _was_ , Lena! I was always myself with you!”

“How can you be yourself around someone you’re hiding a whole part of your life from, huh?” The brunette asked sharply.

“Because being myself doesn’t necessarily mean being Supergirl!” Kara yelled back desperately.

“Well who are you then?” Lena challenged taking a few steps closer. “I asked you once and you lied straight to my face, so tell me, what’s your name?”

“Kara Zor-El.” The blonde answered softly, watching Lena’s reaction attentively. “Kara Danvers _is_ who I am, just without the powers.” She explained softly.

“Kara Danvers is human, while Kara Zor-El is not.” Lena nodded to herself.

Kara tried very hard not to react to the fact that Lena had just said her birth name for the first time, and how that made her feel, and instead focused and _what_ she had said.

“Are you angry that I’m an alien?” She asked painfully.

“Please, I couldn’t care less.” Lena scoffed indignantly. “But that you lied to me about it? Yes, I do resent you for that Kara.”

“But- it’s my secret identity, it’s there to protect the people I care about!” The blonde tried to defend herself, but a sharp laugh from Lena interrupted her.

“And yet I’m the only one who didn’t know.”

“That’s- that’s not-“

“I trusted you with everything I had.” Lena spoke, turning around from the blonde to look at the sun setting over National City. “You were my best friend, the one person I could be myself without fear of judgment around, and you- you never trusted me enough to even tell me your name.” She laughed sadly. “At first, I get it, you didn’t know me at all, I was just Lex Luthor’s little sister, but after _months_ of us getting closer Kara I can’t- I can’t fathom why you wouldn’t tell me.”

“I was scared you’d hate me.” Kara said through her tears, making Lena turn around slowly. “The longer it went on, the more scared I got. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I wouldn’t have hated you for being a hero, Kara.” Lena said softly. “But I do resent you for having to hear it from Lex, and for breaking my heart.”

“I broke- I- Lena” Kara whimpered, but the brunette shaked her head slowly.

“The worst part is that I think I knew you were lying, you know? But I kept thinking that there was no way that _Kara Danvers_ had anything to lie about, at least not to me. But I guess I was wrong.” She shrugged. “Maybe I wasn’t as special as you made me feel.”

“You were- you are! Lena I’m so sorry-“

“You keep saying that you’re sorry but I- I can’t trust that you are.” Lena shrugged. “I can’t trust anything that comes out of your mouth.”

“I _know_ , I know that I have to earn your trust back, and I hope you'll let me do that, but Lena, if there’s one thing I would _never_ lie to you about, it’s how much you mean to me.” Kara promised, taking a tentative step closer to the CEO.

“I wish I could believe that.” Lena chuckled as she shook her head, making the blonde cry harder.

“I love you.” Kara tried at last, desperate for the brunette to understand just how much she meant to her.

“I know.” Lena nodded slowly. “I love you too.” She swallowed. “But I think it’s a little late for that.”

“What can I do?” The blonde brokenly asked, ready to do absolutely anything to get Lena back into her life.

“Leave.” The CEO painfully said, taking a deep breath and looking at Kara head on, letting her know that she had no doubt about her decision.

With another sob, Kara nodded and after a few seconds of staring at the tearful eyes of her best friend, she turned around and made for the door.

“I hope this isn’t the last time we talk?” She asked as she stopped at the door, hoping that Lena would remember their very first conversation.

“I need time. Space.” Came the quiet answer from inside the office, and from just the sound of her voice, Kara could tell she was crying now.

She remembered.

“I’ll give you both.” Kara promised, turning back to glance at Lena one last time. “I’ll give you anything.”

And with that, the blonde left the office, trying her best to respect Lena’s wishes and ignored the sobs she heard from inside, all the while trying to hold in her own; at least until she made it home.

She broke when she reached the lobby.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you asked for a follow-up chapter so here it is!  
> I'd never intended to write it though, so I hope you'll find it adequate lol
> 
> Thank you for reading as always, and hopefully enjoy!

“What do you mean you’re not going to CatCo’s Christmas party?” A baffled Nia asked, staring at her mentor.

“I’m just not really in the mood to celebrate anything.” Kara shrugged simply.

“Or you just don’t want to run into Lena.” Nia said with knowing eyes.

Looking up with wide eyes, Kara stuttered, “No I- it’s not that. I just- she asked me for time and space Nia, I’m trying to honor that.”

“It’s been _6 months_.” Nia deadpanned.

“I broke her trust; I’ll give her 6 years if she needs them.” The blonde shrugged with a sad smile.

“You’re both ridiculous, honestly.” Nia shook her head. “It’s not like you don’t see her around the office already.” She pointed out, raising an eyebrow that reminded Kara a little too much of Lena.

“That’s different; we don’t have a choice. _But_ , I can make the choice not to show up to the Christmas party.” Kara explained quickly.

“Kara, I’m not letting you spend the 23rd alone.” Nia shook her head.

“I’ll just hang out with Alex.” The blonde shrugged again.

“She has a thing with Kelly, so no you won’t.” The brunette retorted.

“Wait, she does?”

“Uh yes, they’ve been talking about it for weeks? Kelly got them those reservations at that new upscale restaurant downtown?”

“Oh shoot, that’s then?” Kara groaned, her famous crinkle appearing. “Oh well, I’ll just watch that show you’ve been telling me to watch for weeks.” She decided eventually.

“Love the initiative, but no; you’re coming to this Christmas party with me and Brainy.” The brunette stood up, clearly trying to put an end to the argument.

“But Nia-“

“No. You’ve been avoiding each other for months, all the while longingly staring at each other from across rooms and shit; this ends now.” Nia argued.

“But what if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” The blonde eventually asked softly, clearly insecure. “You know I’d love more than anything to have her back in my life, in any way she’d feel comfortable with, but ultimately, it’s _her_ call and I don’t want to pressure her.”

Sitting back down with a sigh, the brunette stared at the blonde sympathetically before speaking. “Kara, I know that I never got to know her very well, but I can tell just by looking at her that she misses you.”

“You think?” Kara asked hopefully, biting her lip.

“She stares at you just as much as you stare at her, if not more.” Nia said, making Kara blush as she looked down at her lap to avoid eye contact. “Plus, it’s been 6 months, who wouldn’t miss their best friend?”

“Uh, someone that was lied to for years?” Kara answered tentatively, looking back up.

“Okay, that was a rhetorical question.” 

* * *

“I really don’t think this is good idea.” Kara said, frantically looking around the room trying to spot the CEO.

“The party or the gift?” Nia asked as she straightened Brainy’s tie.

“Both.”

“Christmas is the time of giving; it’d be weird if you _didn’t_ have a gift.” Nia tried to reassure the blonde, to no avail.

“Nia, I’m the only one here with a gift.” Kara gritted through her teeth as she smiled at a co-worker walking by.

“Well you’re also the only one trying to win back their best friend, so…” Nia shrugged, unbothered by Kara’s discomfort.

“Oh, here’s Miss Luthor.” Brainy said suddenly, a little _too_ loudly, making the brunette in question look in their direction.

Waving shyly at the trio, the CEO slowly turned back to her conversation with a small smile on her lips.

“See? She’s happy you’re here!” Nia exclaimed happily to Kara, a big smile on her face.

“Or she’s just being polite to her _employees_.” Kara retorted.

“Really?” Nia asked exasperated, turning to Kara fully.

“She _might_ -“ Kara insisted but was quickly interrupted by Brainy.

“Should I tell you she’s coming over here?” He asked, clueless, making both girls swivel in the direction of the older brunette just as she reached them.

“Miss Luthor!” Nia exclaimed with an awkward laugh.

“Nia, nice to see you.” Lena answered with a soft smile. “Brainy, Kara.” She acknowledged then, her eyes lingering on the blonde for a moment, rendering the reporter speechless.

“Miss Luthor, always a pleasure.” Brainy greeted politely.

At Kara’s silence, Nia elbowed the blonde in the ribs – hurting herself in the process – in hopes of getting her to say _something_.

“I- uh hi.” Kara said eventually, clearing her throat. “Here.” She said, pretty much shoving the wrapped gift she’d been holding in Lena’s direction.

“Uh- thank you?” Lena chuckled awkwardly. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you…” She uttered guiltily.

“Oh that’s fine.” Kara brushed off with a laugh, “I should have given you this a while back anyway.”

“Oh? What is it?” Lena asked curiously, looking down at the square package she was holding as if she could see through it.

“It’s a- well…” Kara stuttered, looking around them with nervous eyes.

“Maybe you should have this conversation in private?” Nia suggested, already pushing the two of them towards the nearby balcony.

_(How… fitting.)_

“I have to greet-” Lena tried to argue but Nia was having none of it, effectively leading the two of them out.

“You two need to talk, like, yesterday.” She said before closing the door and locking them out on the balcony with a devilish smirk.

“She _is_ aware you’re Supergirl… right?” Lena asked after a few seconds of standing in shock, shaking her head at the younger brunette staring at them through the glass.

“Yup, she’s just being ridiculous.” Kara replied with a huff. “I’m sorry Lena; I know you have better things to do.” The blonde apologized, looking around them to see if they could take off discretely enough for them to get out of this situation.

“I do have things to do, but I wouldn’t say better things necessarily.” The brunette answered shyly, setting the gift she’d been holding on a nearby table, catching Kara’s attention immediately.

“You wouldn’t?” The blonde asked just to be sure, not moving a muscle.

“I’ve missed you.” Lena admitted with a shrug. “You’re not the worst person to be stuck on a balcony with.”

“I- I’ve missed you too.” Kara replied, tears quickly forming in her eyes. “Sorry.” She said, sniffling, turning away from the CEO to wipe at her eyes.

“Kara I- I’m sorry.” Lena whispered after a few seconds, looking down at her hands.

“What?” Kara asked as she turned back around, emotions mostly under control now. “What are you sorry about?”

“For being so distant.” Lena explained slowly. “I know I asked for it, but it’s been 6 months and I can’t help but feel like I’ve been a terrible friend.” She laughed self-depreciatingly.

“Wha- No, Lena, no.” Kara quickly shook her head, closing the distance between the both of them with just a couple of steps. “You’ve done _nothing_ wrong. Please don’t apologize for something _I’ve_ done. I would have given you all the time in the world.” Kara assured her, trying to catch the brunette’s eyes.

“Really?” She whispered shyly.

“Yeah.” Kara nodded quickly, and nodding to the still wrapped package said, “Open it.”

Looking curiously at the blonde in front of her, Lena took a step back and picked up the present wrapped in red glossy paper, feeling the weight of it for a moment before looking back up at the reporter.

“I’m a little nervous, I’m not quite sure why.” She laughed quietly.

“That’s alright.” Kara replied with a softly smile. “Take your time.”

With another nervous chuckle, Lena took a deep breath and finally pulled at the tape on the side of the gift. Kara couldn’t help but smile at the gesture because _of course_ Lena Luthor is the type of person to take off wrapping paper delicately instead of just ripping it off like the blonde usually does.

Done with the wrapping paper, the brunette looked at the black jewelry box she was holding and looked back up at the blonde with uncertain eyes.

“What’s this?” She wondered aloud, clearly hesitant to open it.

“Trust me?” Kara asked, biting her lip before closing her eyes tightly and shaking her head at herself. “Poor choice of words, but, please?” She almost begged and with a hesitant nod, the CEO finally opened the box.

“A watch?” She asked confused, looking up at the blonde with furrowed brows.

“It’s a- well, it’s a Signal Watch.” Kara explained nervously.

“What’s a Signal Watch?” Lena questioned, touching the watch’s case with delicate fingers.

“If you flip it open, with this latch right here,” Kara explained, pointing to the little indent at the bottom of said watch, “and you press the Supergirl insignia inside, it’ll emit a sound that only I can hear and I’ll know you’re in trouble and need my help.”

“Oh.” Lena said after a second, eyes fixated on the watch she had just opened to reveal the aforementioned insignia, heart racing.

“Well, press it once if you need my help, twice if it’s a trap.” Kara further explained, uselessly adjusting her glasses anxiously.

“A trap?” Lena mumbled absent-mindedly, eyes never leaving the watch.

“Well you know, if someone makes you press it but you don’t actually want me to come; something like that.” The blonde shrugged.

“Right.”

“Do you- is it okay?” Kara asked, biting her lip.

“I- yes, I just- why now?” Lena finally asked, closing the watch and looking back up at the reporter.

“I wanted- _want_ you, to be able to contact me, well, Supergirl me, in case of an emergency. Even if we’re fighting, I just- I’ll always show up.” Kara explained, eyeing Lena warily, hoping she hadn’t overstepped.

But Lena didn’t say anything, just stared at the blonde silently. She didn’t look angry so Kara took that as a good sign, but she did look… ruminative.

“I know that I lied to you about a lot of things because of my identity, but like I told you last time, I never lied about our relationship.” Kara whispered softly, almost afraid to speak too loudly. “So even if we don’t stay in each other’s life, I will always protect you.”

“I lied to you too.” Lena finally whispered back, closing the box she was still holding delicately.

“What?”

“When I said I couldn’t trust you ever again, I lied.” Lena started with a sad smile. “The truth is that I would jump off this balcony right now and never doubt that you’d catch me; I would have done it that day too.” She laughed quietly.

“Let’s not do that.” Kara replied, somewhat alarmed, stepping closer to the CEO _just in case_.

“The _truth-_ is that I was mostly mad at myself, never you.” Lena admitted, a tear slowly making its way down her cheek. “I was _hurt_ that you lied, but I wasn’t mad at you. I was jealous, of everyone else for knowing before me, of all the stories they got to hear. I was mad that I cared so much when I thought for sure that you didn’t.” She swallowed roughly. “But now, after those six months and _this_ ,” she mentioned to the watch she was still holding between them, “I know that you never stopped caring, my anger just made me blind to it.” She admitted, grabbing one of Kara’s hand slowly, grinning when the blonde squeezed back. “So I’m sorry, for taking this long to reach out to you. Because I know you’ve been hurting, but that didn’t stop you from giving me space like I asked but still reminding me that you were there every once in a while.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Kara croaked out, desperately trying to stop herself from crying. “I think- I think that we both made mistakes, about how this whole thing was handled. But ultimately this was _my_ fault, because I should have told you when we started becoming close, so please stop apologizing.”

“Kara-”

“Please, just- I messed up, we both know that. Okay?” She breathed out painfully, wiping Lena’s tears away delicately.

“Okay.” Lena argued eventually, squeezing Kara’s hand in hers.

“So what’s with the bangs?” The brunette asked eventually, brushing at the blonde strands with a playful smile.

“Alex said that cutting my hair would be cathartic.” The blonde mumbled with a blush. “It didn’t really work.”

“Well, I think they’re adorable.” Lena smiled softly, heart light for the first time in what feels like forever.

Unable to stop herself any longer, Kara wrapped her arms around the brunette in a long awaited hug, Lena immediately melting into the blonde’s arms, both of them letting out an unconscious sigh of relief.

“I missed you so much.” Kara whispered in the brunette’s hair.

“Me too.” Lena agreed, squeezing the blonde a little tighter, careful to not drop the watch she was still holding.

“I’ll never lie to you again.” Kara promised, pulling back just enough to look at Lena’s eyes.

“I know darling.” Lena whispered back, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss on the blonde’s cheek before diving back into the hug.

The two women hugged there for a couple minutes before simultaneously remembering that they were standing on a CatCo balcony, in view of all their coworkers, who for the most part seemed uninterested in what was going on, thankfully.

Except for Nia of course, who was still staring at them, though a little more discreetly than she had been when she locked them out.

“Remind me to give Nia a raise.” Lena joked, fingers playing with the watch again.

“Will do.” Kara laughed, before nodding to the box in the brunette’s hands. “Want me to put it on you?” She asked with a soft smile.

“Yes please.” Lena agreed easily, and as the blonde adjusted the band on her wrist, she couldn’t help but appreciate how… normal it looked.

“Will Superman be able to hear too, if I press it?” She questioned curiously.

“He will, but the signals are different so he’ll know it’s meant for me.” Kara explained with a smile.

“Okay.” Lena smiled. “It’s really pretty, thank you.” She said as she admired the watch on her wrist.

“Custom made.” Kara announced proudly.

“You _made_ this?”

“Okay technically _I_ didn’t, but I was the brain behind the design.” Kara blushed.

“Well, I love it, so thank you.” Lena smiled at how adorable the blonde was being.

“Shall we go back to the party?” Kara asked, offering her arm to Lena, who took it with a giggle.

“I’d love to share some eggnog with you darling, but I’m afraid we’re still locked out.” The brunette pointed out.

“Yeah, about that…” Kara muttered as she twisted the handle and opened the clearly unlocked door.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed with a surprised laugh.

“I missed you, I’m sorry!” Kara apologized instantly. “Promise I won’t lie to you ever again starting now. Scout’s honor.”

“You, are _trouble_ , Miss Danvers.” The CEO shook her head with an amused smile.

“That’s why you keep me around.” Kara laughed, walking arm-in-arm with Lena to the buffet.

“That’s one of the reasons, yes.” Lena laughed, staring at the blonde’s profile lovingly.

Yeah, she really did miss her.


End file.
